How did I get here? I glanced in the bathroom mirror last night and – holy crap!! When did I get to be this old? This fat?? This … THIS?!?! How did 49 years old creep up on me and how did my butt get this big and lumpy? Granted, I’ve been obese my entire adult life and have always felt way older than my age but this was a real wake-up call. When was the last time I threw on some make-up? Got a pedicure? Trimmed my cuticles? Made an effort? What happened to the badass I always intended to become but never actually did?